Won’t leave my side

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Miniature poodle mix about 5.5 yr I’ve had him for 2 yr 
He does not get anxious when I leave him 
Problem - whenever I take him somewhere- like office or coffee shop - he won’t leave my side and if I leave with others he’ll bark and become anxious
Help pour favor

[Adrienne Farricelli]

Hi, there, welcome to the forums! Your dog is adorable! 

Thank you for reaching out. It’s wonderful that your dog feels secure when you leave him at home. This tells us he can handle separations under certain conditions. The issue you're seeing when you bring him to public places is a different type of challenge. 

In new or stimulating settings like coffee shops, offices, veterinarian practices or social gatherings, your dog’s world suddenly becomes unpredictable. In those moments, you become his safe anchor. When you move away, his anxiety spikes because he isn’t confident navigating that unfamiliar environment without you yet.

Here’s how you can start helping him:

Teach Mat Behavior in Easy Locations First: it's important to start this at home first. So start in calm places like your living room by teaching him to relax on a mat while you move around. https://www.braintraining4dogs.com/members/video-archive/train-dog-go-to-mat/ Gradually, you’ll teach him that he can stay settled even when you leave his immediate side.

Practice Low-Stakes Departures: Begin by stepping just a foot or two away, returning quickly before he becomes anxious, and rewarding him for remaining calm. Over time, build distance and duration slowly before trying it again in high-stimulation places like coffee shops. Too overstimulating environments (busy, noisy places) can flood him with stress hormones.

Desensitize Him to Public Environments: Right now, simply existing calmly in public (without you moving away) is already a learning experience. Spend time sitting with him in public spaces and quietly rewarding relaxed behaviors like lying down on a mat, sniffing, or casually observing.

Use Strategic Management at First: In busy locations, position him where he feels safer, perhaps in a corner or tucked under a table, away from foot traffic, and give him something engaging like a chew, lick mat, or stuffed Kong to enjoy on a mat. Having something soothing to work on redirects his focus away from watching your every move and taps into calming behaviors like licking and chewing.

If he won't eat, take that as a sign that he's too anxious in public settings and not ready for practicing at this level. Always stay below his panic threshold when training. https://www.braintraining4dogs.com/members/archive/threshold-levels/ 

He may need more time ot feel comfortable. Teach him to calmly observe people and dogs at a distance without reacting. Reward things like looking at a passerby and then turning back to you, or noticing a dog and staying relaxed. 

Gradual Exposure: Pick the easiest public settings first (quiet outdoor cafes, uncrowded parks), then very gradually work up to busier places. Provide him with something to chew and walk away briefly and return right back to him. Before you move away, you may want to introduce a consistent cue like "Be right back" said in a relaxed tone. Over time, this teaches him that your absence is temporary, predictable, and safe. Go very gradual. Rushing the process or being away for too long can backfire and increase anxiety instead of reducing it. 

Keep it short and sweet:  start with very brief departures: for example, stand up, step away one step, return. Go refill your coffee cup and return. Tiny wins build confidence.

If you are still struggling despite going slowly and not seeing progress, take that as a sign he's in a too high anxiety state. He may need over the counter or prescription calming aids along with the behavior change process to help him better cope with brief abscences and progress. 

Let me know if you need further assistance!

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Thank you. Have a blessed rest of your day.

[Adrienne Farricelli]

You are very welcome! Keep me posted on how things go!