Not enjoying daycare (or anything else that requires independence)

[madisonperkins01]

Hello all! I am new to this program and am really excited! Sorry for the impending long story, but I don't think I can get adequate help unless you all know this background story:

 

My dog's name is Hank. He is a 5 and a half(ish) Redbone Coonhound. I got him from an animal shelter when he was around 1 year old, so I'm not entirely sure what else he has mixed in him, but he looks to be about 98% redbone coonhound. :)

 

Hank is a sweetheart and is obsessed with me. Lol. I love the bond that we have, although sometimes I feel like he is too dependent on my presence. Wherever I am, he's right next to me. I have hidden from him before, just to see what he will do, and he will pace from room to room until he finds me.

When I leave for work, and my husband is at home, he tells me that he lays down on his bed and refuses to get up to go to the bathroom or even to eat (no barking, but it almost looks like depression).

Other times, when I take him for car rides with me, and I leave him in the car to run in somewhere to get something (mind you, the car is on, with the A/C running and soothing music playing just for him, and I am inside whatever building I'm in for no less than 5 minutes), he barks and barks and barks until I come back.

 

Unfortunately, the barking when he is left somewhere has become debilitating for both me and Hank. We go for runs about 5 days a week, but I would love for him to be able to socialize and be more active on the days where he would otherwise be sleeping all day. I have tried taking him to daycare, but it ended up being a nightmare for him and an embarrassment for me. During a trial daycare day, he barked at the gate the entire 2-3 hours I was gone. I haven't taken him back since.

 

I used to work at a daycare/boarding/training facility when I first adopted him, and I think that's where his anxiety stems from. I left him at the training facility for about 4 weeks (when I had only had him for about 6 weeks) because he was in serious need of training. They made sure that he did not see me during his stay, but I'm sure he could smell me. I think that really messed with him and he is constantly in fear of the unknown of when I will come back to him.

 

Turns out, one of the trainers was actually very mean to the dogs he trained, and I think he got a hold of Hank while he was left there. He was deprived of food (you could see Hank's ribs when he came back), as the trainer would usually not feed the dogs enough so they would be more food motivated, and that trainer also used to hit dogs when they would whine or bark excessively, so I wouldn't be surprised if Hank was a victim of that.

 

As soon as I learned of this, obviously, I made sure that myself and Hank would never go back there, but I don't think Hank has ever gotten over it. I think he would be so much happier if he could let himself enjoy playtime away from home and without me there, but I don't know how to help him (or if he can even be helped). I just want him to know that I will always come back, that he doesn't need to worry himself sick when I'm not around, and that he is safe.

 

This is my last resort at getting some help and advice, because I feel like I have tried everything!! I just want my pup to be happier, that's all.

 

P.S. Attached a picture of me and my boy!

Edited October 17, 2019 by madisonperkins01

[JMFS]

Aw, such a handsome fella! I'm sure Adrienne will have some good advice for you and Hank. It's terrible he went through such a trying time, but he's lucky to have you who wants to enhance his quality of life. :) I have a clingy pup, too. She's getting better as I apply techniques I've learned here. Here's a link to the advice Adrienne gave me, it should be a good starting point for you and Handsome, er, Hank. :)

 

https://www.braintraining4dogs.com/forum/showthread.php?130-Thundershirt Post #8 has the details

 

We have a dog picture thread here, if you want to show us more of that good lookin' guy: https://www.braintraining4dogs.com/forum/showthread.php?259-Canine-Picture-Thread

[Adrienne Farricelli]

Hello and welcome to the forums,

You are describing the poster child of separation anxiety, albeit a milder form, as in general dogs with separation anxiety tend to pace, whine, scratch at doors, eliminate, drool and act as if having a panic attack when their favorite person goes out the door. Nevertheless, these dogs suffer at an emotional level when they develop such strong attachments.

 

Jennifer provided you with a thread where there is an example of what behavior modification for separation anxiety may entail. Of course, every dog is different, so each dog may need a program that is custom tailored for them based on their history and after taking a careful assessment through observations. Ideally, these cases are worked with the help of a professional so to ensure correct implementation of behavior modification. Sure, it can be accomplished without that for mild cases (I have several success stories of owners who applied behavior modification on their own by following guidelines), but it's important paying close attention not to cause the dog to go over threshold (over that thin line that causes a dog to develop signs of anxiety), or we risk their fear getting worse.

 

So for example, for the barking in the car, you would do a similar exercise as the one outlined for getting out of the door in the thread Jennifer shared, but it would look more like this:

 

-Turn the car off, touch the car handle, open the car door, take a step out, return inside and sit back in the car.

 

-Turn the car off, touch the car handle, open the car door, walk a few steps, make an about turn and sit back in the car.

 

-Turn the car off, touch the car handle, open the car door, walk up to a store's door, make an about turn and sit back in the car.

 

-Turn the car off, touch the car handle, open the car door, walk up to a store's door, enter the store, get out of your dog's view for a second, make an about turn and sit back in the car.

 

-Turn the car off, touch the car handle, open the car door, walk up to a store's door, enter the store, get out of your dog's view for a second for a few seconds, make an about turn and sit back in the car.

 

It all proceeds this way in baby steps. If we notice barking, whining etc, it means we have pushed too far and we are sending the dog over threshold. In this case, we need to take a step back and work longer at a lower level where the dog is more relaxed. It also helps at some point to add in shorter absences with longer ones so that the dog doesn't believe that the exercise is getting incrementally harder.

 

The day care scenario may be too early for now. It may take some time for him to learn how to relax in your absence to be able to cope with not seeing you for several hours while he's at an unfamiliar place. The fact he doesn't play is because he's too anxious. Play, eating, sleeping are things dogs tend to do when they feel safe and relaxed.

 

However, worthy of pointing out is that sometimes dogs act like Hank the first few days when they are left at daycare. After the place, the people and the dogs frequenting the day care become more familiar, there are chances he may start relaxing a bit. Similar to children's first days at daycare, where they cry for mommy, but then soon discover that the teachers and other children are OK and that actually fun things take place there. However, it may still be too early for him to endure daycare, if he already has to deal with the stress of seeing you leave the home, the car and you being out of sight at home. It is best to help him learn some coping skills first. Brief sit-stays and down-stays as explained in the Obedience 101 section can help him learn that he'll be alright if you are out of sight for a bit. As always, baby steps.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your dog's negative experience at the board and training center. It's unfortunate, but there are several horror stories like yours. On top of that, many rescue dogs are naturally prone to separation anxiety, so being boarded in a new place and with unfamiliar people who mistreated him sure must have been traumatic. The fact is when we leave rescued dogs in a place even if for their own good such as daycare, they likely re-play in their minds the days when they were at the shelter and this makes them panic similar to people with post-traumatic stress. The good news is though that now Hank is in great hands and has a loving and dedicated dog owner committed to helping him out!

 

Thanks for posting the picture, Hanks is surely a handsome boy!

Edited October 18, 2019 by Adrienne Farricelli