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[brendanelson109]

I have recently purchased your course and I am thoroughly enjoying reading it. I have 3 dogs Taffy a Pug x who is about 2 and a half years, Otis a Pomeranian is 1 year 9 months, Arlo another Pom is 1. I have been training them from they were pups. Taffy has just started Rally. Although they can do a lot of the things on your course there are some problems which I am learning from your tips how to solve. Your approach to training I think is really good. What I don’t understand is, I do everything for the dogs get them up in the morning, feed them, groom them, walk them, play with them put them to bed at night. My husband does nothing but when he is home they lie at his feet, follow him around and if he goes out of the room they sit at the door waiting for him to return. When he goes to work they are fine no anxiety or concern that he is not around. Hope you can tell me the reason.

From Brenda and her boys

[Adrienne Farricelli]

Hello Brendanelson109,

I hope you are enjoying your Labor Day so far, in case you are celebrating it. Glad to hear you have been enjoying the course so far. What your dogs are doing sound like totally normal behavior. Many dogs love to follow owners around the home, sit by the door and wait and lie by the owner's feet. Lying at the feet is dog's way for "keeping tabs" of where the owner is going when sitting down as they feel any movement of the owner denoting he is about to get up and move. That's good that they show no signs of anxiety when he goes to work as clingy behaviors as such sometimes may spill into separation anxiety.

 

What may feel odd though is why are they displaying this behavior towards him rather than you who is the primary caretaker? Until dogs can talk, we can really only make assumptions. Maybe the theory of scarcity is at play here? Perhaps because they do not see him as often makes them look forward to sticking around them. Maybe since he leaves the house more, they are more concerned about his tendency to leave and need to keep an eye out on his wheareabouts. Maybe they just enjoy relaxing near him and know there are zero expectations from them and that makes them gravitate towards him, while they see you more as the active/fun/exciting one who walks them, trains them, grooms them. It could also be just one dog likes to stick by and the rest just follow. Several possibilities there. Maybe he is sneaking them cookies! ;)

Edited September 3, 2018 by Adrienne Farricelli

[JMFS]

Hi Brenda!

 

Gertie does that sometimes. We've reasoned that she prefers his couch because there's more room and it's cooler than my loveseat. She usually ends up coming over to me after she's had her fill of him and is sleepy. It may be similar to the Weekend Parent syndrome that kiddos present when a family is split. When they're with him it's all fun and games, relaxation, and no worries. When they're with you there's discipline, routine, and order. With him they get to simply "be." My husband thinks dogs are family and there shouldn't be a need for discipline or training (we have some fun "discussions"). When he tries to get the canines to do something they 75% ignore him, but when I say it they 90% of the time do it, when I start counting to 3 they 98% of the time do it. Yes, I totally did pull the Mom trick of counting to 3, and it Worked. :D That could be a bit of what's going on with your herd of pups.

 

It could be energy, too. I'm the most high strung laid back person I know. My husband is Mister Cool, as in I've seen him lose his patience a handful of times. When we're on our couches I'm concentrating, counting stitches and reading a pattern (and "quietly" cussing to myself if I've miscounted and have to pull the row out because you know I don't realize that until I've done four rows incorrectly already) while he's over there melting into the couch with his brain slipping into cruise control. I'd rather sit next to him than to me, too! He's "go with the flow" and I'm "go with the flow as long as the flow follows me."

 

I think, though, it's more likely the theory that they don't see him as much. Think of kids when a babysitter comes over. Man, do they get excited! They Totally forget who provides the shelter, the food, the comfort, the care, etc . . .. The babysitter isn't any more loved or cherished than the parents, the babysitter is simply something different - a break in the routine. Or, if he mostly ignores them then that's a sure-fire way to get their attention. My mom is Not an animal person. She likes them as long as they are away from her. Naturally, all of our furry critters hang out right next to her. :D

 

Or, it could be the cookies. I know that's what it is with my aunt's dogs and her husband - he's Always sneaking food to them.

 

I don't know about you, but sometimes it bothers me. For the most part it doesn't, but if it happens on a day that I feel was an especially good day (we were successful with fetch, for example, or I made special dog treats) I get a little miffed, but then I get over it and instead focus on being happy that I have extra room and don't have to shift my yarn around.